Saturday Morning - Memory Loss

"Why don't you remember such things?"

My friend always gets mad at me, because I have a tendency to make others mad at me. I was sitting idle after a long and tiring day, where I had talked myself hoarse trying to glean and bestow all project knowledge resident in my head to a fellow teammate(He had to give up life in the Indian Army to work as a software engineer - Life is seldom fair as I always say), when my friend asked me this question:

A: "Did you inform all your friends in Bangalore about the delay in your scheduled arrival?"

Me: "Yes ... Not all...Thanks for reminding me...I will send out texts tonight"

A: "Why don't you remember such things?"

Me:"I don't remember so many things most of the time , A."
No replies for a long time after this statement.

Take for instance I went for a movie (infact two movies - morning and afternoon shows) last Saturday morning.

After having been through the security,my cousin and I secured a big bag of popcorn and a large tumbler of Pepsi and sat down on the stairs with 10 minutes to go for the movie. One of the staff ladies walked over to me and asked(obviously annoyed at us for placing ourselves on the staircase and ruining the decorum of Waves Cinemas by our 'popcorn munching antics'!) : "Which movie are you watching today?" I went blank!

Me: "Wait a second. "

I took out the movie tickets, looked at them and then told her "Anwar"(Why doesnt my cousin come to my rescue? He will pay for it, once I've answered the lady). She said, "You can walk into the audi", and she walked away smiling in disbelief! My cousin was in splits! How can a person remember so much? How do you expect me to remember the name of the movie I came to watch, when I have to remember a thousand other things(I don't remember which - That's a different matter altogether)?

Very diligently , I made sure to let my friends know tonight that I did not manage to get to Bangalore today. I will be there on 14th or 15th of Feb. I hope they forgive my forgetfulness! I am not as bad at remembering things as people think. I sometimes just choose to ignore when my brain and my heart says "beep" and "thud" respectively, not necessarily in that order. They sometimes do so in isolation as well, where just one of them needs to work! Apologies yet again. I know you are never mad at me :-)

Going Home :-)

My brother's wedding is on 24th of January. Everyone(Maa, papa actually!Just the two of them) at home is running every which way. Last minute guest lists and shopping lists are being drawn up. The house has been re-painted, trees trimmed, caterers have been engaged, hotel rooms have been booked. Cards have been sent out, phone calls by the dozen have been made. My parents are in a frenzied state! They do not even have the time to talk to me! They dont even remember who I am! They are not even aware that I am living the life of a 'refugee' in Noida, with all my belongings already sent to Bangalore!

The groom reaches on the 20th of January along with our sibling in Bangalore(I have had long discussions with him , regarding his views on the subject. Have not been very successful. One of the most reticent grooms! On being asked about his attire - "I have got a coat, a tie, a nice shirt, trousers, cufflinks and shoes! The rest will be arranged by ma." I give up!)

I will be home on 21st(finally), after long battles and much 'sword brandishing' on either side(me and my boss).

Our eldest brother and his legal wife(my 'bhabhi' :-) will reach on 22nd January. Then will our troop be complete (not quite)! Now that I have got some time to breathe, I think I am very excited and looking forward to the occasion. On second thoughts, I am worried because I have not shopped for any dresses except one. I will leave it to ma to fix something for me.

4 days to go!

Undefined

There are things that keep coming back to me. Life seldom is fair. We are thrown against rocks very often. We can choose to be knocked about, or find a ledge and make our way uphill. Some things are meant to be, they are destined, and however much we try to change the course of events, we cannot stop them from materializing. We can choose to be a helpless audience or we can make the best effort we can to avert what is to be. In the latter case atleast we have a sense of pride and an assurance that we did all we could.
Some things are there, looking us in the eyes. We can choose not to recognize them or we can forget our fears and misgivings and try to seek a familiarity.

Life cannot be so bad afterall.

iPhone

Apple Computers Inc says: "iPhone combines three products — a revolutionary mobile phone, a widescreen iPod with touch controls, and a breakthrough Internet communications device with desktop-class email, web browsing, maps, and searching — into one small and lightweight handheld device. iPhone also introduces an entirely new user interface based on a large multi-touch display and pioneering new software, letting you control everything with just your fingers. So it ushers in an era of software power and sophistication never before seen in a mobile device, completely redefining what you can do on a mobile phone. "

Their iPods have become a rage(sigh! I don't own one - now that iPhones are here I think I don't need one! ) and with the introduction of iPhones Steve Jobs feels they would be better off being called Apple Inc ('without the computers').

4 GB and 8 GB iPhones are priced at $499 and $599 respectively. If I choose to buy a $599 phone I will have to forego a month's salary. Which means I will have to save in the previous 2 months so that I can continue living decently in the month I buy my iPhone. I can give it a try, but this will involve some waiting and planning. Anything for an iPhone!

Javeda Zindagi

I had absolutely no idea about the movie 'Anwar' or the cast. Chanced upon two songs. One ('Maula') was given to me by my colleague and the other I heard on the radio. And I got hooked on to the second one, just like I got latched on to 'Tere bina' from 'Guru'. This song is called Javeda Zindagi('tose Naina Laagey')


I plan to listen to it continuously the whole day today, until I can find out what is it about the song that I like. It could be the words, the music, the rythm, the voice of the singers or something I can relate to...I am not sure yet. I will have to think over it.


We think, we speak(either to an audience or to ourselves), we write, we have a conversation. All this effort is directed towards defining what needs to be spelt out. We need not do it. There never was a requirement to the effect where we would want to let someone know who we are or what we think. How does it matter what I signify in the teeming multitude? I can think that all of us should give up our jobs, go to the villages and work on farms. I can wish we never had the concept of cars, electricity and air conditioning or a blog for that matter. I can wish I struggle to make ends meet and yet be happy, because I would be with the people I love. I could long for so many different things which would be simply impossible to enumerate in this little space of my blog. But now that I have spelt out "I can wish", I will always have this little prose of mine to come back to and recount my dreams. At the end of the day, we may retract some of what we have been thinking in the course of the day. Yet again, what's the big deal?



There's no one who will sit on judgement and pronounce a verdict, if I go back on what I believe. But wouldn't that be equivalent to dishonesty to oneself, which is worse than being untrue to a second person? I can think over it, which is like exploring whether I am in sync with my thoughts. Either I will convince my thoughts, or my thoughts will convince me but when we face the world together, square and strong, we both should speak and resonate in synchronism.