Your eyes speak volumes
Yet its difficult to fathom them
They shed tears suddenly
They cloud without a storm
But I know there's a hidden yearn.
Keep them closed
Force them to be shining
'cause the world likes them that way
Dont let them speak much
Just keep smiling
There's no one who could take a plunge
into the range of feelings and emotions
that spring from deep within
And peep stealthily from your eyes
But never give their reasons
Let them be quiet
Let them be lonely
Let them be longing
'cause it's their destiny.
(Origninally written on 25 january 2002)
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Last December Rain in Delhi
Life literally comes to a standstill. Traffic moves(rather crawls) at a snail's pace. But everything looks shiny and bright, washed and clean. My days in Noida and Delhi are coming to a close. I dont know if I will ever get to stay here again. I have known this place for the past five and a half years. I am so used to this place that I did not realise how much I am a part of it until I decided I have to move to bangalore.
This happens all the time, doesnt it? We have to keep moving, and do things we never imagined we would be doing. We have to leave everything behind and walk on as if there are no strings attached. Still hopeful that the next bend in the road leads to more light and will probably compensate for the losses. But voids never get filled. We learn to live with them and are happy with the pain of separation because unwittingly we are always destined to find something we can hold on to - a glimpse of a ray of light behing the clouds, a little smile, a warm touch, the places we go.
Rains are are a refuge for me. I love walking in the rain. I relive my days since childhood, playing in the rain on the rooftop, jamming drains for boat races, running around with friends in the fields in my village, laughing and splashing with friends in school and college. And now when my heart aches for all that was mine, I just love walking solitary in the rain, facing the sky with the raindrops in my eyes. I try catching some of them, but never enough to fill the gashes and zeroes that intersperse my being.
Still I love the December rain, that sends the temperatures plunging.
Something that makes no sense at all
I did not hang up my socks day before yesterday. As a result I was deprived of a gift from Santa (Santa Claus to be precise - We know of other Santas for e.g. Santa Singh!). I do not mind as long as Santa does not deprive me of the intangible gifts he had planned for me.
I was talking to a friend over the phone we had a hearty chat. About movies, the myriad unproductive ways we had spent the day, nick names, we even Compared 'Casino Royale' and 'Happy Feet'(as though there is anything to be compared between the two...By far Happy Feet is better - I am looking for another online war, alas the other person doesnt know I have been writing on the sly!)...at the end of each statement we concluded that the other had gone a little funny in the head. There were questions like why have things been kept secret from friends (hmm...scary truths...better not be revealed!). Other questions were like why Harry Potter's next book is called 'Deathly Hallows' and not 'Deadly Hallows' (??!!) Probably because deathly signifies a death like appearance while Deadly is something that can can cause death or be dangerous(How I can see through titles that J K Rowling thinks of!! I am not complacent though...I still need to find out the answer from that other enlightened soul when I get the opportunity to talk again...if I am considered worthy of it, that is). Who can understand what goes on in the minds of these authors. They write whatever they fancy should be written. We discussed Eragon. Why dont they release the movie quickly, some people are losing sleep over it! (??)
I had to spend a full half hour this morning reading about it and the new book Eldest. Will have to procure them and read them before I venture to watch the characters in action.
I am from patna, a small town in the state of Bihar. We have a low literacy rate (only 50 %) and it is a great concern to the people in Delhi. We dont have a choice. We barely manage to make ends meet. We are a huge number. We were ruled by a Govt., who after years of experiments with us has become adroit at managing the Indian Railways. We are struggling and trying our best to emerge out of this to a better day and more light. I digress. What I was going to discuss is nick names...'Shankar Parvati' (!!) and 'Gauri shankar'. I like them. Had my parents given me the freedom to choose my name, perhaps I would have chosen 'Shashikala' or 'Chandralata', or 'UmaMahesh' for that matter. Alas, I have not been given the option to choose what Id like to be called and persist with an unimaginative name.
I always make promises to myself and I always manage to disgrace that promise and to think of it, I used to consider my faith as my greatest strength.
Yet again I resolve on the day after Christmas.
I realise this post is preposterous. If any reader can make any sense of it, please sort it out for me. I fail at every attempt.
Communication
What's awry(perceived !!) with the Indian Culture?
I was in a session on "Communication Across Cultures" today and found what I had been doing for the past quite sometime unwittingly was put into words by esteemed Dr. ......
But it was surprising to know some facts:
1. Procter and Gamble started marketing Diapers in Japan. But in their ignorance of the Japanese culture, they concentrated more on the comfort of the mother than the baby and they failed. It had taken them 6 months to strategise and market the product in the first place and it took them another 6 months to undo the damage their advertisements had done and rebuild the market!
2. There was another fact about some American snack manufacturers who started marketing a cheese snack in China and failed miserably because they were unaware of the fact that the Chinese suffer from a lactase deficiency or lactose intolerance. They had to remake the product changing the percentages of the constituents, so that it was fit for Chinese consumers.
There were other anecdotes, that were interesting.
We discussed the contrast between the American and the Indian cultures. It was interesting to note that they have a context based communication, while we tend to beat around the bush a bit before we come to the point. I agree with it.
Americans are forthright and capable of saying 'NO', while we seldom say 'NO' although we are learning to mend our ways these days. What I feel is, it is OK if you have to go a little out of your way to drop a colleague home, or if you accept chocolates from a guest for your kids although you dont like them eating chocolates. It is Ok if someone needs to use your phone. It is OK if someone comes to your home without prior information or invitation. It is OK if you have to get up early to cook for a guest. It is OK if you miss your favourite TV series one evening if your guests' kids want to watch cartoon. It doesnt matter so much.
The Americans and Europeans feel that Indians dont say a 'NO' because they are too eager to please. But this is not a recent character or cultural trait acquired by indians. Over the years we have learnt not to say a no to anyone who happens to cross our path, or looks up to us for a favour. Irrespective of whether we are capable of helping out the person or not, we try and do it as best we can. I agree that at the work place some people are very eager to please the 'firangis' and this will have to change. And these are the few people who leave an infavourable impression about us when they do not meet unreasonable deadlines they had committed to.
If we can accept cultures, and dont try to adopt one, but be ourselves, then can we have a productive communication.
I was in a session on "Communication Across Cultures" today and found what I had been doing for the past quite sometime unwittingly was put into words by esteemed Dr. ......
But it was surprising to know some facts:
1. Procter and Gamble started marketing Diapers in Japan. But in their ignorance of the Japanese culture, they concentrated more on the comfort of the mother than the baby and they failed. It had taken them 6 months to strategise and market the product in the first place and it took them another 6 months to undo the damage their advertisements had done and rebuild the market!
2. There was another fact about some American snack manufacturers who started marketing a cheese snack in China and failed miserably because they were unaware of the fact that the Chinese suffer from a lactase deficiency or lactose intolerance. They had to remake the product changing the percentages of the constituents, so that it was fit for Chinese consumers.
There were other anecdotes, that were interesting.
We discussed the contrast between the American and the Indian cultures. It was interesting to note that they have a context based communication, while we tend to beat around the bush a bit before we come to the point. I agree with it.
Americans are forthright and capable of saying 'NO', while we seldom say 'NO' although we are learning to mend our ways these days. What I feel is, it is OK if you have to go a little out of your way to drop a colleague home, or if you accept chocolates from a guest for your kids although you dont like them eating chocolates. It is Ok if someone needs to use your phone. It is OK if someone comes to your home without prior information or invitation. It is OK if you have to get up early to cook for a guest. It is OK if you miss your favourite TV series one evening if your guests' kids want to watch cartoon. It doesnt matter so much.
The Americans and Europeans feel that Indians dont say a 'NO' because they are too eager to please. But this is not a recent character or cultural trait acquired by indians. Over the years we have learnt not to say a no to anyone who happens to cross our path, or looks up to us for a favour. Irrespective of whether we are capable of helping out the person or not, we try and do it as best we can. I agree that at the work place some people are very eager to please the 'firangis' and this will have to change. And these are the few people who leave an infavourable impression about us when they do not meet unreasonable deadlines they had committed to.
If we can accept cultures, and dont try to adopt one, but be ourselves, then can we have a productive communication.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
The Question is 'Whether' not 'When'
Whether or When ?
People do not realise how much havoc they can wreak on a poor life when they do not have the answers to questions like when or whether. They confuse when with whether. You keep telling them, I am not asking when you would do such and such, I am just asking whether you would do such and such.
I understand human limitations very well. There are things we can do, then again there are things we cannot do however much we may try. We tend to hold on to something while we search within ourselves for answers like...Is this what I would like to hold on to? Is this the stuff, I would like to be wedded to for life? The species is such that we always subconciously feel, we could have done better. I dont say that we should not do better, what I say is, we must do better. But in an effort to do so, we must not stagnate the life of people around.
There is nothing worse than leading a person on to believe that you are holding on to him/her and likewise he/she can hold on to you. For you in all your wisdom and level headedness do not realise, that the other may not have a heart of steel, devoid of feelings and that he/she probably has some empty pocktes that are ready and waiting to be filled. It is just like we hold our trays at lunch time for the guys at the serving counter to fill with 'rice' and 'daal'. Bad simile. Cannot help it though. I had to put across a strong feeling. As I am back from lunch which was not blessed with a tray of rice and daal, it is only fit that I long for one(again human weakness in play!)
And when you have led the person(unwittingly)(or the person succumbs to your powers at wizardry and genius) so far that there is no turning back for him/her, and you revel in triumph, it is then that you probably realise and yet ignore, you were right in doing so ! Afterall shouldn't all mortals learn their lessons in time? And if you had not been there to be the torch bearer, someone else might have very well taken up your place and who knows might not have delivered as well ?
But this phase of not knowing the answer is what scares me out of my wits. Somewhere deep down I know that things will be fine, they are bound to, but wish I had a heart that would not buckle and hold up a bit more. On the outside, I take care not to break down very often(And when I do, I take care it is not known to souls other than mine). What I would say is "Out with it. Finish it off for once and for all". It is a strange feeling to see things take shape. Not a bad feeling at all I must say except at times of self doubt. I understand that it is difficult to just say a 'Yes' and forget about it. It is not such an easy question. I realise it must be very scary to put one's foot down and say "This is it. This is what it all comes to" and regret later.
Still the question lingers on. Spare me. You are better equiped at deciding. Not us lowly mortals who walk with their souls bare and hearts exposed.
People do not realise how much havoc they can wreak on a poor life when they do not have the answers to questions like when or whether. They confuse when with whether. You keep telling them, I am not asking when you would do such and such, I am just asking whether you would do such and such.
I understand human limitations very well. There are things we can do, then again there are things we cannot do however much we may try. We tend to hold on to something while we search within ourselves for answers like...Is this what I would like to hold on to? Is this the stuff, I would like to be wedded to for life? The species is such that we always subconciously feel, we could have done better. I dont say that we should not do better, what I say is, we must do better. But in an effort to do so, we must not stagnate the life of people around.
There is nothing worse than leading a person on to believe that you are holding on to him/her and likewise he/she can hold on to you. For you in all your wisdom and level headedness do not realise, that the other may not have a heart of steel, devoid of feelings and that he/she probably has some empty pocktes that are ready and waiting to be filled. It is just like we hold our trays at lunch time for the guys at the serving counter to fill with 'rice' and 'daal'. Bad simile. Cannot help it though. I had to put across a strong feeling. As I am back from lunch which was not blessed with a tray of rice and daal, it is only fit that I long for one(again human weakness in play!)
And when you have led the person(unwittingly)(or the person succumbs to your powers at wizardry and genius) so far that there is no turning back for him/her, and you revel in triumph, it is then that you probably realise and yet ignore, you were right in doing so ! Afterall shouldn't all mortals learn their lessons in time? And if you had not been there to be the torch bearer, someone else might have very well taken up your place and who knows might not have delivered as well ?
But this phase of not knowing the answer is what scares me out of my wits. Somewhere deep down I know that things will be fine, they are bound to, but wish I had a heart that would not buckle and hold up a bit more. On the outside, I take care not to break down very often(And when I do, I take care it is not known to souls other than mine). What I would say is "Out with it. Finish it off for once and for all". It is a strange feeling to see things take shape. Not a bad feeling at all I must say except at times of self doubt. I understand that it is difficult to just say a 'Yes' and forget about it. It is not such an easy question. I realise it must be very scary to put one's foot down and say "This is it. This is what it all comes to" and regret later.
Still the question lingers on. Spare me. You are better equiped at deciding. Not us lowly mortals who walk with their souls bare and hearts exposed.
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