Saturday, February 24, 2007

Is this where I belong?

My job, my life, the city I lived in, all caused me unrest and I wanted to move away. I was on vacation from17th Nov to 4th Dec. Throughout the vacation in Mumbai, Patna, my village and Bangalore, I had been spending time studying OOPS, Database, solving puzzles. It all happened then. I appeared for an interview in an organization I had always wanted to be associated with, on 4th of Dec and that was my lucky day. I got what i had been looking for(atleast that is what I thought!). Oblivious of the perils of moving to a new city I accepted the offer. I am wiser.

I have already recounted days after my vaction when I resinged from my previous. And how they just refused to let me go till I served two months. I am thankful. I got to stay in the city I had got so used to that I almost ignored its existence, a month longer.
13th of February was my last day at work in Noida. My farewwell, friends, colleagues...I wouldnt like to recount all that. 14th of February was spent packing whatever was left of my belongings and visiting relatives and friends in Noida. It was a terrible day! Yet another I wouldnt like to relive or recount.

I reached New Delhi Airport at 7.45 on the morning of 15th February. The flight was supposed to take off at 9 AM. Jinxed as I am, they kept delaying the flight. I read, dozed off, changed places, walked around and watched news on TV. Then an airport staff assisted an old lady who sat down besides me. She appeared very uneasy. He told her that one of the staff will help her board at 11.40 AM. It was just 8.45 AM ! I was surprised at why she was at the airport so early! Nothing or no one could be more harmless than her so I decided I could talk to her for a while. I enquired about her destination and she told me that she was headed towards Ahmedabad. I looked at her ticket and assured her that the staff will take good care of her. It appeared that she was flying alone for the first time. She repeatedly told me that she had come to delhi with her nephew and his wife on a holiday and that they were staying back for a while. They had dropped her early because of "whatever silly reason" I do not remember. And that she liked the weather in Delhi but Ahmedabad was much better. She told me her brother lived in Bangalore (where I was headed). She kept talking but never did I see her smile once. I got her a cup of tea just as they announced my flight. We got in the queue, but they delayed the flight yet again (as I had expected) and I sat down to read.

Reached Bangalore by 3 PM. My first day. I was feeling out of place. Now I am looking for a place to stay. Its shocking to see the houses available for rent. I am hopeful I will find something good before this week ends(there are so many friends helping me out). I have not yet settled down in this city and my employers want me to move to Hyderabad for 6 months on an assingment. I decided not to go.

Things have been moving so quickly, I do not remember most of it. I got my ID card, roamed the huge campus on bicycle, met with my college friends, tripped and fell from the library staircase, missed my bus one morning, did not write for the past 10- 12 days, and dropped a cup placed at my workstation.

Is this where I belong?

I do not know yet.

3 comments:

esirah said...

Sounds like you have a lot of thinking to do. I have found myself asking the same question in the last couple of years since moving back "home"... and the more I ask it the more I sense the answer is "no". You may find the opposite to be true in your case.

I personally prefer to let my heart rule my geography, rather than the other way around. I think that if your heart is where it belongs, the rest of you eventually will be too. Maybe in this case the rest of you just needs time to catch up. (Just a thought that you can take or leave.)

Living like this can cause you to do crazy things like move to new and different places (among other things). Is it always easy? Nope. Is it worth it? Always...

ubuntu said...

hey toddlers do struggle till they grow up, everyone sees this phase .
We too have seen this phase don't worry everything settles down as if pre decided.
"Believe in your destiny and u will rest in peace"

Jaya said...

Esirah,
Thanks for your comments. I always find something in them, over which I can reflect. I will try and ask myself whether I belong here. But as you say, the experience is worh it.

Priyanshu,
I am reconciled to my destiny. I occasionally do put up a struggle. But I always patiently wish, things turn out the way they should.